Almost four years had passed since Master Devin took my virginity. Four lonely years since my beloved Devin and Jack became Master Devin and Master Jack. Four years since I’d been held in a manner that didn’t involve sex. Four years since I’d heard the words, “I love you.”
I couldn’t even begin to count the number of times I cried myself to sleep, wondering if I would ever wake up from this nightmare that my life had become. Why? Why did my guardian hate me so much? He used to love me. Master Devin, too. What did I do to make them despise me? Maybe if I were better, if I did everything the way Master Jack wanted me to, then he would stop hitting me. That if I was good enough, the Jack I knew as a child would return and love me again.
But no matter how much I strived to be good enough, I failed. As soon as I started getting better at something, Master Jack would change how it was supposed to be done so that I failed again. Then he would chain me to the archway and whip me until I passed out, which didn’t take that long.
Despite all the cruelty in my life the last few years, I never got used to being hit; every time felt like the first time. For reasons unknown, I healed faster than normal people and calluses didn’t grow anywhere on my body. They didn’t grow on my heart, either, leaving it unprotected from the verbal abuse of my Master Jack and his friends. Oh, how their words stung, sometimes more than their fists.